We both grew up going to church and were taught of the mighty men in the Bible. I learned about their lives in passing while my husband studied and admired their lives, and the large families God blessed them with. We both were taught that those men took multiple wives, however, it was not the ideal and it was not something that was to be done in today’s age. We were taught it was only allowed in that time, or they were in sin and it’s not something that should be copied. Either way, we were told it was wrong.
The idea of plural marriage never crossed my mind. I never even thought about it being something that was still practiced- until one day, when a preview streamed across the tv promoting a family living in polygamy. My initial reaction was that of disgust but something about it was intriguing. It drew me in. Kind of like when you drive past a car wreck, you can’t help but look. I began to watch the series and wasn’t impressed with the family dynamic. The man seemed to flop around like a wet fish and the wives weren’t happy. Yes, I understood it was tv- some drama is needed or who would watch it. However, it did not display an appealing family dynamic.
It was through the watching of this show that got my husband to revisit the topic of plural marriage. He couldn’t point out in Scripture where it was condemned, therefore, it caused him to become curious why it wasn’t. With the major push within our culture and church loudly proclaiming it was wrong, he sought to find out where that claim came from. He dove into the Word of God, searched the internet and found an in-depth video series where everything was laid out from a Christian point of view backed by Scripture. He researched for a few months and had come to the understanding that it has never been condemned, but it was blessed by God. For him, everything clicked.
One evening, I happened to glance over and see one of his browser tabs on his phone. Though it was just a normal browser heading, it felt like neon lights blinking “POLYGAMY.” I joked and asked, something to the effect of, “Is that something you are looking into for yourself?” To my surprise, I just opened the biggest can of worms. The worms were oozing out and I couldn’t close the lid. That moment is the very moment that changed my life- forever. Once the polygamy topic has been broached with a wife, there is no going back. I needed to know all of his thoughts, at the same time, I wanted it to stop, and I wanted to go back in time. I had a flood of insecurities rush in. Things I never faced were now fears that consumed me. I felt paralyzed.
I was forced to re-evaluate everything I thought I knew about marriage, God, the man I married and even myself.